what i really say when i write to you

Dear Peter,

Please think I have it together.

im trying really hard with no success but im trying.

ill be good at something one day.

i was good at something when i was younger.

they let em shine in high school and i will shine again.

i cant help but thing i may be fucking up. 

and it doesnt help that no one, not even my parent think i can do it

BUT

i got a job AND an apartment.

theyre cute and they mean im going somewhere in this world with my life

maybe somewhere along the line my skin peeled off and ive become invisible.

maybe no one can see me anymore

also ive been having weird dreams.

theyre funny

youd like me if you knew me

im funny and witty and if you gave me half a chance youd fall in love with me instantly, even though i dont know who i am

but with you i would be defined

validate my existence

love me

and make me worth something

somebody

i live in a new city! its strange ut so alive. and there are all these people around. living their lives, going through their days with no notice of me. im this giant nobody in this sea of nobodies. its hard because i want to feel them all at the same time, breath them deep inside myself. buts hard when you are on the outside looking in.

i was at this bar tonight and on either side of me were couples. one just meeting and the other deep into their relationship. i kept looking at them and wanting what they had. one bright fresh new, discovering the uniqueness of the other. the second entwined in each other, laughing at private quirks, blurring the line between their two beings.

but im hopeful. i know what i have to offer. im string, and independent and will make someone very happy. 

its all going to change soon! im becoming a somebody!

this is it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IA_ubhYgjAc

my new site!

hi everyone!

so i found a new way to keep a video blog...youtube!!!

you can check me out at:

http://www.youtube.com/user/tcketseller

ill still update here every once and a while but check here for ore updates!!!

~ticketseller

first vblog!!

hiya!!

Hi everyone!!!! My name is ticketseller! And Ive started this blog just to try and stay connected to all the people living out there in the huge world we call home. Ive recently moved to a new city and am feeling like a giant nobody in a sea of nobodies! I hope this can bring me a little closer to someone out there!

Stay tuned for ore updates!!